Bringing Sexy Back week 3 – Til Death: Singleness, Dating and Marriage

This week we are continuing our series “bringing sexy back” with a look at 3 specific topics, Singleness, dating and marriage.   There is so much we could say about these 3 topics that we could take a month or more alone on these.  We want to quickly look this week at God’s design for relationships.

Every Monday afternoon during the teaching series “Bringing Sexy Back” at theUNDERGROUND we are going to be posting an article online for you as parents to know what we will be teaching that week.  We know Sex and other related topics can be sensitive and we want to do the best job we can to resource and communicate well with you as parents.   So check back each week!

Week 2 – What is Love?

Did you know there are 4 different types of love?

1. Eros – passionate love, with desire and longing; not necessarily sexual, but can be
2. Storge – love and affection parents have for their children
3. Philia – friendship or affectionate love (often called “brotherly love”…sisterly love?)
4. Agape – unconditional love; also called true love; this is the love God has for us, but doesn’t have to mean only God’s love; sacrificial love

BIG IDEA: We put so much emphasis on the EROS kind of love. We talk about it, dream about it, sing about, watch movies about it…but we need to really stare down the other types of love, their importance in our lives, and why EROS love isn’t the only love out there.  If God is love, do we really know what love is all about? 

The topic of LOVE can make us roll our eyes, think of cheesy romantic movies, make us sad that we don’t have “someone”, or make us all butterfly-stomachy (is that a word?) because we do.  But that’s only one kind of LOVE.  Let’s talk about all kinds of love, and the most important, God’s love for us.

It is easy to say “I love you.”  We can mean it in many different ways. 

A friend might give you some food when you are really hungry and you say, “oh, I love you!” and you might mean, “thank-you…great timing.” 

A guy might tell a girl he loves her to get to the next step physically.  He might mean, “I love the way you make me feel,” or “I love what we’re going to do next,” but he might not actually mean “I will always love you.”

In fact, I’m sure you can think of loads of different ways that you might use the word “love” in a day.

And love is good.  We are called to love.  But we need to keep in mind what love really is and why the word is more powerful than we might like to realize.

To start, love is not lust.  Love is not temporary.  Love does not have conditions.

1 John 4:7-8

 ⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Love comes first.  We need to give our love first to God to understand how to love others well.

God’s love is so important – it is central to the Gospel Message.  It is because God loved us that He sent His son, Jesus, to come to the earth to show God’s love to us, to save us from sin, to set up His kingdom, and to shut down religion.  All because He loved us.

Loving God first and being able to accept the love He has for us allows us to love others the best way we can and to know that we are loved.  Then, when we look at the other types of love “storge”, “philia”, and “eros” we can have a healthier, balanced view of what love should be. 

Take home questions:
1. What do you think love means?

2. Are there different types of love?  What are they?

3. What type of love does the world typically portray? How is this different than God’s love?

4. God loves us unconditionally.  How does this change our view of love?

BRINGING SEXY BACK

WEEK ONE:

REAL SEX

Hi Parents:

Every Monday afternoon during the teaching series “Bringing Sexy Back” at theUNDERGROUND we are going to be posting an article online for you as parents to know what we will be teaching that week.  We know Sex and other related topics can be sensitive and we want to do the best job we can to resource and communicate well with you as parents.   So check back each week!

BIG IDEA:  Remember that it was God that created us – male and female.  God himself designed sex; and it was good!  He didn’t design it to be dirty or shameful.  He designed it to be awesome. But he did put some parameters on sex, not to limit our fun, but to protect us.  It’s time to bring God’s kind of sexy back.

Overview of the Teaching: The topic of SEX is something that brings out different emotions in different people: embarrassment, fear, excitement, and confusion – just to name a few.  But the reality is that God designed us and He designed us as sexual beings.  He gave us the parts we have, the desires, and He designed it to be good – in His design, He set up all of this in the context of marriage.

 1 Corinthians 6:15-20 says
¹⁵ Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! ¹⁶ And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” ¹⁷ But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

 ¹⁸ Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. ¹⁹ Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, ²⁰ for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.   (NLT)

The passage is quite clear: we cant go around “one-fleshing ourselves” to multiple people.  We lose the value and intimacy of God’s design for sex.  When we have sex we become one with that person. We take on their life with our own – that is why we connect marriage and sex.

You might be thinking: it’s my body and I can do with it what I want.  And, wouldn’t you know it, this Scripture squashes that idea too?  Verse 19 says: Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit…you do not belong to yourself.

And further, your value and your body are of high standing with God – so much so that He “bought you with a high price.”  He values you. He wants you to value yourself too.  If you’ve already crossed lines you wish you hadn’t, God loves you and wants you to have a second chance…that’s grace.

The question we have to ask ourselves is “Is this what the creator intended for his creation?”  Did God create us to have sex wherever whenever with whoever?  Or did God have something better in mind for his creation?

God made you to long for love and all that goes with it including sex.  Let’s go even so far as to say He made you so it’s hard to wait.  Let’s call it a challenge from the creator.   Sex is tempting in a world saturated to the core with sexual messages.

Sex outside of the context of marriage is an emotional, spiritual and physical hand grenade.  People play with it, pull the pin to see what happens and at some point it will blow up in their faces and their lives can be blasted and shattered without warning.

Sex is an awesome gift God has given us to experience in a marriage context.  Anything outside of that isn’t part of God’s design. However, we also worship a God of grace.  If you’ve already crossed lines that you wish you hadn’t, God wants to give you the opportunity to hit the reset button.  Allow Him to frame your physical life from here on.

Great Resources:

*Technical Virginity by Hailey DiMarco   *Let’s Talk about Sex TMH Series (2007)

*TMH – License to Sin, part 5: Loving Sex (2011) *Real Sex, by Lauren F. Winner

Questions discuss at home:

1. What are you hearing or seeing at school regarding sex.
2. How is sex being represented in the world today?  How is this different than how God created it to originally be?
3. Crossing the line.  What are your thoughts on boundaries?  Where do you/where would you draw the line?  How did you come to your conclusions?  Bruxy once said: “If you feel the need to keep your physical life a secret from the world, something is wrong.”   Thoughts?
4. What do you think God has to say about Sex through the Bible? 
5. How does your physical relationship with someone affect your life now?  How might it affect your future relationships or marriage (if you choose to marry)?

Hi Parents, 

Here is the place that each week we will be posting an article for you that will help you understand what we’ve taught your youth this week in our midweek gatherings.  We want you as parents to be as informed as possible but also to engage with your kid during the week with the questions, ideas and message we are teaching.  

BIG IDEA:  God has given us an amazing way to know Him!  He has reveals Himself to us through the Bible.  The Bible isn’t about rules or religious traditions, rather the Bible is Gods gift to us, it’s His love letter to His creation and a practical guide to help us navigate this amazing adventure called life.  

When we think of the Bible we often think of a huge dusty old book sitting on our grandma’s coffee table.   It’s a book that’s full of old school words and the majority of those words don’t even make sense to us.   How can this book be such a huge part of our connection with God when we don’t understand it?   This week we are going to be talking about the Bible as God’s word to each of us and why its important for us to be ROOTED in what God is saying to us through the Bible. 

Question 1: Why do you think God would give us the Bible?      Why is it important for us to read and study a book that is thousands of years old?
Do you feel it’s out of date?

Question 2: If you believe that the Bible is actually the words of God to us, should that change the way someone lives their life?

2 Timothy 3:15-16

There’s nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.

Question 3: What is the purpose of the Bible in our lives today according to this verse in 2 Timothy?

Question 4:  Jesus refers to us as sheep and to Himself as a Sheppard.   He says that His sheep listen to His voice.

Why is it important for a sheep to hear the voice of the shepherd?

  HINT:

- Safety, protection, direction, survival

- How does this apply to our relationship with God?

Question 5:  Do you spend time listening to God speak to you through His Word? Why or why not?

Question 6:  What are some practical ways we can engage with God’s Word on a daily basis?

Hi Parents,

Each week we will be posting an article for you that will help you understand what we’ve taught your youth in our midweek gatherings.  We want you as parents to be as informed as possible but also to engage with your kid during the week with the questions, ideas and message we are teaching.   

Big Idea – The Church isn’t a building, a service or only on Sunday, the Church is the people of God who together are called to be “the Body of Christ” in the world! 

There are a lot of reasons why people go to Church.  Maybe it’s because their parents make them.  Maybe it’s because they find friends there, maybe it’s because they find guidance and peace there.  Maybe people come to church because they feel it’s a good thing to do and it makes them feel better about themselves.  Maybe they go to Church only on Easter or Christmas; or perhaps people go to Church because they have a deep love for God and want to worship Him with others.   There are many reasons why people go to church but today we are going to discover what it truly means to be the Church and what God’s purpose is for it.

Question 1: What is the Church?     

Question 2: Why did God create the Church and why does God want us to be a huge part of it?

Scripture:
* Have a student read this portion

Acts 2: 42-47
The Fellowship of the Believers

    ⁴²They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. ⁴⁴All the believers were together and had everything in common.

Question 3:  From the verse pick apart what are some things that the early Church was all about.

Hints:
1. Learning about God and growing spiritually
2. Breaking bread (being in community together)
3. Prayer and Worship
4. Radical generosity

Thought: It says in the Bible that the Church is the Body of Christ in the World and that we play our part.
The Body of Christ, like all bodies, is comprised of many parts. There are limbs, organs, and various members that, when left alone, are useless, but when assembled make up the entire body.

READ: 1 Corinthians 12:12-14 describe it like this: “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body – whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free – and we were all given the one Spirit. Now the body is not made up of one part but of many.”

This means each Christian is an equal part of the Body of Christ! 

Question 4:  Why do you think the Bible calls the Church the “Body of Christ” What do you think it means?

Question 5: If one part of the Body of Christ is missing can the Body function well? 

 Question 6: What role do you play in the Body of Christ? 

WRAP UP:  The mission of God is to reestablish the broken relationship between Himself and us (humans). You are a huge part of that mission.  God uses the Church to accomplish this purpose!

The Church is the hope for the world.  All of us together make up the Church and God is calling His Church to function in a way that we all use our gifts and play our part in the Body to accomplish the mission of God.

PARENT ENGAGE AT HOME QUESTIONS:

 1.     Why do you think being apart of the Church is important for our family?

 2.     Why did God make the Church?

 3.     What role do you play in the Church?

This month theUNDERGROUND is going to be taking a look at some key things that will help us be ROOTED in our faith. If you’re a Jr High or Sr High student make sure you join us this January! theUNDERGROUND midweek gatherings start up next week!

As the youth ministry of The Meeting House, theUNDERGROUND is committed to challenging ourselves to live more compassionate lives and follow Christ’s example. We do this by focusing on:

Awareness: becoming more aware of issues both locally and globally
Education:  educating ourselves to know how to respond effectively
Action: taking action by using our time, our skills, influence and finances
Transformation:  we trust that God will change and transform us through new relationships with people living in the margins

Throughout the year, we offer numerous ways to get involved in compassion-focused ministries and events across all of our sites.  See the events section for the Compassion Event nearest you!

Additionally, we offer 3 Compassion-motivated learning trips:

• Our grade 7 & 8 students from all sites are welcomed to apply for the Kerr Street Compassion Team.  This team serves for a week at Kerr Street Ministries Day Camp in Oakville in July.
• Our grade 9 & 10 students from all sites are welcomed to apply for the Urban Promise Wilmington Compassion Team.  This team serves for a week at Urban Promise Ministries in Wilmington, Delaware over March Break.

Our grade 11 & 12 students from all sites are welcomed to apply for the Urban Promise Camden Compassion Team.  This team serves for a week at Urban Promise Ministries in Camden, New Jersey over March Break.

SUNDAY MORNINGS

Every Sunday morning, Junior Highs at all sites have their very own teaching time. This involves interaction, questions, Scripture, teaching, and a chance to make it personal.  Sr Highs remain in the adult teaching.  For locations and service times, go to: http://www.themeetinghouse.ca

Jr Highs are involved in an interactive morning that is a slightly altered version of Lifechurch’s curriculum.  The teaching schedule for the year is as follows:

MIDWEEK

All of our locations have midweek programs as well as weekend events.  For program dates, times and locations as well as events, see the events section for all details.

At midweek, Sr Highs have the opportunity to flesh out the teaching from Sunday morning while understanding its relevance to their lives as teens.  Sr Highs experience hanging out and food, prayer, small group discussions, as well as teaching at midweek.

Meanwhile, Jr Highs also have the opportunity to further discuss the Sunday morning teaching while taking the time for some games, small group time, teaching, snack and more!

For helpful information, please check out the following organizations:

To Write Love on Her Arms – an organization that helps those who struggle with depression, cutting, substance abuse, and related issues

Centre for Youth/Parent Understanding – an organization that seeks to better understand the important connections between parents, youth workers, and youth

Family First - an organization that seeks to help strengthen families  

Relevant - helping to connect God, life, and progressive culture

Be sure to check out The Meeting House Student Ministry podcast available on iTunes.